A Mom After God’s Own Heart

I miss the cute days! I’m having terrible Instagram jealously lately! So many of my friends have young families and post oodles of pics of their cute little ones! New babies that I can practically smell through the screen, park days, bike rides, ice cream treats, crayon drawings… My boys aren’t so little anymore. If I tried to post them on IG you would get nothing but boys on the couch playing video games, or boys in the backyard shooting the pellet rifle at old crockery, or boys arguing about who left the scrap of trash that I just asked them to throw away. If I posted their sketchbooks it’s all weapons and video game characters they like. At 12 and 15 it’s not that they’re not cute anymore, because I still think they are, I just don’t think you would think they are.

Parenting is such a strange endeavor. We commit ourselves to turning squalling babies into rational adults. How does that even happen? By the grace of God I’m sure. We get 18 years, give or take, with these little people, all while growing old and forgetting what it was like to be little people ourselves. Many choose to become parents. Some have parenthood thrust upon them. Because of poor choices and ineffective birth control I became a mom at 17. It was terrifying and I had no idea what I put my parents through with the choices I was making.

Welcoming a baby is easy compared to the anguish of worry over your grown children having a successful life. That baby I had at 17, she’s 23 now, married, has a career as a ballroom dance instructor, paints like Bob Ross, and I’m so insanely proud of her. The year she was 17 was one of the most difficult in our relationship. I remembered what I had been like at 17. I had been a ridiculous, selfish teenager who had no idea what parenting really was. When my precious daughter turned 18 and wanted to move out of the house, she came to me and told me what a terrible, mean, lazy mom I was and how she couldn’t wait to be out on her own. Ouch. I did a lot of repenting to my own mother that year. Throughout my daughter’s teen years I did a lot of praying and shed a lot of tears. I spent a lot of time in God’s Word as well as a tall stack of parenting books.

I love my daughter and her husband, and we have a great relationship and a lot of fun together now. My heart aches though, because she’s no longer walking with the Lord. My husband and I cast seed and water as often as we have opportunity. I pray for them daily, in faith and hope, remembering how God was at work in me when I wandered away, and knowing that his work is below the surface and behind the scenes, knowing that His Word doesn’t return void, and that it accomplishes His will (Isaiah 55:11.)

The boys are a whole different breed. It’s a lot of fart jokes and movie quotes and sibling rivalry. Sorry to say, for you moms of young boys, the fart jokes never end. At least I’ve managed to keep it away from the dinner table… most of the time. Sigh. The 15 year old has a girlfriend this year, so that’s new and frightening. She’s a lovely girl and they laugh together and nerd out on Marvel Superheroes and Harry Potter and video chat a few times a week. She’s respectful and kind and it’s very sweet to see my son’s respect and affection for her. The 12 year old is a builder and saves everything he thinks he will make into something someday. He has a corn snake as a pet. He works hard and plays hard and has a compassion streak I think is rare in kids his age. I love watching these kids bloom right before my eyes.

There are so many different parenting philosophies and styles, how do we know what to do? Where do find truly wise advice? The Word of God is the best place to learn parenting.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.” Deuteronomy 6:4-9

We learn compassion and forgiveness from the parable of the prodigal son, we learn how destructive favoritism is from Jacob and how he treated his sons, we learn how to lead and feed and guide our children with patience and grace from our Good Shepherd. We learn how to worship and trust God like David in the Psalms and then we teach our children those things by God’s word and our example at home. We learn from Moses’ Mom, Jochebed, Isaac’s Father, Abraham, and Mary, the mother of Jesus, how to entrust our precious children to God’s will in their lives. That stack of parenting books I mentioned, the best of those are filled with the Word and how it applies to parenting. The goal is not to make “good kids” but to teach them the Gospel so they will always know how much they are loved by God through Christ.

So let your heart and home be filled with God’s word. Read the Bible to your little one and have your older kids read it to you. If they’re a little older let them pick a short devotional to read out loud to the family. Connect with other moms and pray with each other about specific parenting issues. Pick a scripture based parenting book, grab your husband or a couple mom friends and read through it together. A couple of my favorites have been Unglued by Lysa Terkeurst (for us yelling moms) and Boundaries for Teens by Dr. John Townsend. For great Christian book reviews, visit my friends over at Three Ladies of Lit and browse their categories, there’s something for everyone in every stage of life.

This Sunday is of course Mother’s Day. I’m looking forward to celebrating with my kids and calling my mom and mothers-in-law (yes I’m blessed with two) to wish them happy days and tell them how much I love and appreciate them. If your mom isn’t around anymore take some time to thank God for her anyways, she’s part of who you are now, weather for good or ill. I pray that God would help me be a mom after His own heart, for my kids good and for His glory.

I’d love to know of a book or resource that has helped you be a more Christ centered parent. Please feel free to share in the comments below.